So this whole week starting last saturday has been really stressful for me. Mainly because starting last saturday my family started celebrating my birthday. I had to go out to eat 5 times this week. And I couldn't say no to anything... I'm to nice... And it's not like i ate everything.. But it was WAY to much for me. I broke down a bunch of times. And I went on this site (www.dailystrength.org) I use the eating disorder group among other. But it's really nice to get to hear people talk about how to cope with their ED's and they told me that it's ok to celebrate because I can go back to how I was next week.
Which I plan on restricting a little because I need that otherwise other bad things will happen... And I can't do those. But it's ok because i'm getting help.. I am only on the wait list for a dietitian now. I have a therapist :) which is good.
Can i be happy that this week i've lost 4 pound? if i've eaten more? is that ok or is that still my ED?
Idk but oh well. I had the most amazing weekend with my boyfriend. Aside from all of the eating i did. We went to a Twins game. And they kicked ASS!! it was amazing. I had tons of fun. I love him so much. He game me the most gorgeous necklace it's the second one he's given me... real diamonds again. he spoils me. It's NUTS! lol. I can't believe we made it to 2 years!!
So all day since i've been trying to get back on track with healthy food and such i've been struggling with the planning out my meals and counting calories and mentally deciding if i only eat half the chicken sandwich. Then I can have a small scoop of ice cream and some candied nuts. (mmm)
It's how it's been all week. like 10 X worse than usual. And it's usually really really bad.. Its getting so annoying and out of hand. I hate it so much...
Sorry i'm kinda downer tonight. I just watched my boyfriend drive away... :'( It's the WORST part of a long distance relationship.
Well have a good night.
And watch the tony's lol it's funny
~*~*~ Love Corey ~*~*~
Hi, Liz mentioned you so I came to blog-stalk you :p
ReplyDeleteI figured honesty is the best policy, no?
Wow, 2 years in a log-distance relationship! 0.0 That's amazing! I've tried long-distance but didn't last more than 2 months *Shrugs* Lol, he turned out to be a tosser, so no real loss there!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your diner idea! Have you heard of Food Not Bombs? They do dinners at my University every other week. Sai Youth and Hare Krishna also share the running of the $3 lunches between them. Every day you can go into Clubs'N'Socs and get a nummy vegetarian meal for $3. Epic plan!
I hope the stress subsides a bit *Hugs*
It's probably the eating disorder that is telling you to eat less and be happy that you lost weight. Don't count calories! Just eat what you want, when you're hungry. It's super hard, I know. But you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI hope the stress gets better <3