It's been far too long

Sorry I haven't posted in a little while I have been busy with trying to keep busy. I've been struggling with my eating more so then ever. I am eating more, but I've been super urgy with self-harm, I slipped a couple times and burned. I know it's bad and I shouldn't have. But it didn't leave a mark. I decided that yesterday I was going to do my make up and take a couple new pictures. Because I haven't taken any pictures in a while. Any way. I'm trying to figure out if I should post them. Don't worry they aren't like nudy, they are fully clothed. But still. I have been creeped on before lol. And I'm not a fan of it. So if any of you have an opinion about it feel free to let me know. Haha.

I missed my therapy appointment today. My therapist texted me she was like "I'm guessing your not coming." We had a bit of a miscommunication problem. It kinda sucked. But I still have my emily program therapy appointment on thursday.

Guys I SUCK and journaling. I can't sit down and hand write in a journal about why I'm so upset. It's even hard to do it on here haha.

Any who, this weekend is going to be stressful. FML we are having a bunch of family to the cabin, that means for sure 10 people and 4 or 5 dogs. 2 big, 3 small.  Plus fireworks,  and 2 weddings. My mom is going to one and my dad is going to one, and my brother and I are staying at the cabin. Which means lots of eating. Lots of talking about my problem.... because thats how my family rolls. Sweet.

Well I have to go.
Until next time.
~*~*~ Love Corey ~*~*~

Where have you been all my life?!

So Yesterday I was shopping for food. Because we ran out of safe foods. And cheese. And I really wanted Chicken.  And I came across the oatmeal section. I've never had oatmeal before. I know that we have some in my kitchen. But I've never tried it. So when my mom got home. I had her help me make it. Because it was original. And she knows how to flavor it and stuff.

I was really good. haha I'm surprised that I've never had it before. I'm a really picky eater. Always have been. And my boyfriend was making fun of me because I was so excited about it.

I was thinking about what else to write last night when I was trying to sleep. I realized that I forgot to mention more about me.

So here I go. I turn 19 soon as in like June 10th. I have a boyfriend he's 21. we've been dating 2 years on the 5th of june. And I love him so much. He's been so supportive though out this whole thing (meaning my depression and eating disorder). He's alway here for me when I need him we are in a long distance relationship. He lives two and a half hours away. I get to see him once a month. It's not nearly enough. But we get by.

I was going to school for Hospitality Tourism and Restaurant Management. I would like to own my own diner. Home cooked food. Like grandmas cooking. Comfort food. I would love for it to be a place I could run a soup kitchen out of once every month. Or couple of months. A safe place in the community for kids to come and do their home work and get  a warm meal.

I dropped out at the end of my first semester of my freshman year. I couldn't keep my self safe, or alive. I know if I stayed I would be anorexic not EDNOS. Or not here at all. I took two online classes. Oh man... Online is so hard!! It's so disciplined, and I'm so not.

I don't plan on going back next year. But I do plan on going back the year after. I want to keep going with college. I just need a year to get my life straitened out. I just couldn't make the decision to go back when every one wanted me to. But It's ok because I might need that time to continue with the program I'm in.

I have a brother he's 16, he's really struggling with school and I'm pretty sure this summer is going to be hell for him. My dad is taking all of his privileges if he doesn't get his grades up. He's really a good kid. He just needs to find his priorities.

My mom and dad have been married for 25 years. And are the best parents in the world. My dad is now a cancer survivor!! It was set in stone this year ( after 5 years of being cancer free you can call yourself a survivor).

Hmm I think thats about all I have to say about me:).

Staying at my cabin for the weekend. Means lots of time in the kitchen making food. I love cooking. I wish I just loved eating it as much.

~*~*~ Love Corey ~*~*~

Recipes for low calories.

So I have yet to try any of these. But I found them and they look good.

~*~ Deserts ~*~

Bev's Chocolate Chip Cookies- 99 calories.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/bevs_chocolate_chip_cookies.html


Chocolate Covered Brownie Bites- 38 calories per bite.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/.html

~*~ Dinners ~*~

Chile Con Queso- 84 calories per 1/4 cup.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/chile_con_queso.html

Mini Greek Pizza Muffins- 39 calories for 2.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/mini_greek_pizza_muffins.html

I will let you know when I try them all I'm very excited about them. I hope you like them.

It's sad I am still talking to no one... oh well. 

~*~*~ Lots of Love Corey ~*~*~